The Road Less Traveled: The Evil Dead Musical

Last Saturday, I traveled to Mount Washington to the Pittsburgh Musical Theatre to catch the closing show of The Evil Dead Musical with my fellow Gore Whores, Chris and Ashley. I had been dying to

Last Saturday, I traveled to Mount Washington to the Pittsburgh Musical Theatre to catch the closing show of The Evil Dead Musical with my fellow Gore Whores, Chris and Ashley. I had been dying to see this show for years..literally years. I bought these tickets, front row splatter zone, clear back in July.

I actually would not be doing the evening justice if I didn’t take a minute to mention that we went to Wafflonia first. We are adults and we can eat delicious waffles covered in ice cream and chocolate sauce for dinner if we want. So we did and it was amazing. Have you ever had sugar pearls!? How does one go back to regular, old granulized sugar after that? It’s impossible.

Anyway, we drive to the theatre and it took forever to find parking. My mini van battled a redneck truck for a spot and we were victorious. We walked to the venue, signed a waiver saying that we wouldn’t sue anyone, bought some snacks, and checked out the merch table. I have an intense addiction to merch and on this night….. I GOT A FOAM CHAINSAW HAND GUYS!!

We found our seats in the front row and immediately got excited when we realized that there was blood spatter all over the ceiling. That could only mean awesomeness, right?!?! Then we started looking around at the crowd and saw that everyone was in white. We tried to wear the lightest clothes that we owned, but it’s really hard when all you wear is black. One group had custom made white jumpsuits, another had a hodge-podge of clothing from Goodwill, and the crew beside us was on their 5th show and were total pros. We didn’t want to hear anything about it though, we wanted zero expectations. At this point, Chris realized that she didn’t want her shoes to get ruined, so she took them off and put them to the side of the theatre. I followed suit with my bag.

The lights dim and we eagerly anticipate the beginning of the show. I thought that it was weird that I didn’t see any signs about taking pictures or videos, so I snapped away. I got a couple of good ones, until I felt a tap on my shoulder, and was told that wasn’t allowed. Whoops. It started with the song “Cabin in the Woods” and in that instant, I started laughing and did not stop the entire time. The show incorporated elements from all three movies: The Evil Dead, Evil Dead 2, and my personal favorite, Army of Darkness. (Side note… Did you know that AoD was originally supposed to be called Medieval Dead?? I just learned this within the last year. What tf happened there, Raimi??)

I don’t want to give away too much of the show if you haven’t seen it, because you really need to check it out. I will say that the evening was full of outrageous song lyrics, with “Housewares Employee” being my personal favorite. The actor that played our hero, Ash Williams, was perfection. His mannerisms, speech patterns, and joke delivery was spot on the entire time. There were tons of sexual innuendos. Also some not so subtle ones, such as a first full of “hand lotion” being thrown on the audience, so much blood, and so much comedy. At one point, I was full open mouth laughing and the demon whore, Shelly, squirted stage blood right in my face. Not the best tasting stuff. And yes….. the assault by the tree was a thing and happened in front of us. That was everyone’s big question when I told them I was going to see the show.

We were worried that making us sign a waiver was all talk and that we would walk out the way we came, especially since we only had a tiny bit of blood on us by intermission. This was not the case when it came to the grand finale. I’m fairly certain that they tossed a bucket of blood onto us from the balcony over the seated area. The show ended and they started squeegeeing the stage and throwing down kitty litter so that the crowd didn’t fall on the very slippery, very gross stage blood. The waiver’s words, not mine. We bumped into the actress that played Linda in the hallway after the show and she posed for a quick picture.

My favorite part of the evening was when we dropped Chris off in Greenburg and hit up the local Sheetz covered in dried blood. It was super late/early depending on your sleep schedule and the bars must have just let out. The convenience store was packed with youngins and we received many weird stares, snickers, and “ew looks” from little miss thangs. One kid finally had the courage to ask why we looked like we did and I told him that we killed a guy down the street. It was magical.

“CHERYL, YOU STUPID BITCH!!!!”

Two days later and I was still washing the blood out of my hair and ears. If that’s not a great night, I don’t know what is.

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